Ok... now the reason for my distraction and erratic postings of late.

I am moving. To New Zealand. Had to wait until the the settlement on the property went through before I could officially announce it.

Welcome to the Reynox House International Writers' Retreat.

Yup... along with sheep, I've bought the most fabulous old property in Oxford (45 mins from Christchurch). Built in 1916, it was originally a boarding house and after many other incarnations, has been totally renovated from the ground up and is about to become the best place on Earth (or Middle Earth) for writers.

We (me and my girls) are going to run writers' retreats there several  times a year.

There is even more amazing news to come about who will be involved in the retreats, and the opportunities for writers, but there is much to do, so you'll have to bear with me for a while.

First job is to get over there. International moving with 5 animals and 69 cartons of books is no fun! That's scheduled to take place in early February. Then we have to get set up, finalise the suprise guests and get this baby rolling.

Oh... and somewhere along the way, I have to deliver The Undivided. Oh well...

The Reynox House very basic, draft website is here with a rough outline of the first retreat scheduled for late next year.

Start saving... you could soon be on a writing sojourn to Middle Earth:)

Spent the day fetching and carrying for Secondborn.

Spent the rest of my time mucking about with stuff for the Big Announcement on Monday.

I am having too much fun.

And I should be writing:)

OK, let's get this straight...

I haven't seen Twilight, nor New Moon and don't intend to. I've not read the books, either, although all power to Stephanie Meyer for making it big. I never begrudge any author their success, because I know how hard it is to come by.

I'm not interested in this franchise, mostly because I despise wishy-washy doormat heroines, believe you shouldn't mess with vampire lore (ie sparkly vampires in the sunlight instead of incinerating ones... puh...leeese...) and I think Robert Pattinson is beyond unttractive, but actively creepy...

Having said that, I did come across this review on E!Online, which offers a variety of reviews, depending on where you sit on the "Twilight Mania Scale"

It's very funny, and I supsect exceedingly accurate.

You're a Superfan! You collapsed into a jellylike mass when R.Pattz first appeared in Twilight—or you are Ted Casablanca:

This film will not disappoint. But then again, as long as Robert Pattinson is present, it'd be hard for any film to let you down. You won't get a ton of Rob, though, as his chaste vampire Edward Cullen appears mostly as a wispy cloud of distant romance, whining little more than "pleeeease" while his dear heartbroken Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) mopes and experiments with leather-jacketed danger.

That said, the climax does involve Pattz going shirtless. And the very end of the movie will likely make you collapse into a jellylike mass all over again. If you're a drooling Rob fan, that should keep you atremble through the debut of the third film, Eclipse, next summer.

YOUR GRADE: A-

________

You're Kind of a Fan! First movie surprised you, and now you're hooked.

If it was Pattinson that first lured you in, you run the risk of being lured back out, unless you can get equally excited about shirtless 17-year-old jailbait.

The real stars of this movie are Jacob's (or rather, Taylor Lautner's) ridiculously shaped pecs. They have about as much acting ability as Pattz himself, whose diction disintegrates in direct proportion to his broken, bloodless heart.

However, if it's Stewart's performance that first impressed you, you won't be let down. She's as bewildered and slack-jawed as ever, now new and improved thanks to suicidal tendencies.

YOUR GRADE: B-

________

You're Team Stephenie! You love the books, but the first movie did nothing for you.

If you fixate on funny things like plot and character—in movies, anyway—too bad. Edward's torture over a perceived lack of "soul" translates into a vague Marlon Brando impression for Pattinson. At one point he crushes a phone, and things get exciting for a second.

As important and interesting as side characters like the Volturi are in Stephenie Meyer's literary universe, they get to chew very little scenery this go-around.

Dakota Fanning whips into the picture, all schoolgirl braids and red-eyed adolescent menace, but she barely sticks around long enough to murmur the word pain. And the icy wit of seasoned British actors like Michael Sheen is largely wasted.

But other new characters get plenty of time to play onscreen, and even book fans should be happy with the well-cast wolf pack. They're all fangs and snickers, and they steal every scene they're in.

YOUR GRADE: C

________

You're Just a Regular Person! You don't care about Twilight either way, but usually go see whatever big movies are out.

Well, here's the synopsis: Vampire Edward dumps girlfriend Bella, and she sits in a room for several months, for reasons that are clear only to readers of the Twilight novels. (Director Chris Weitz seems to think every teenage girl goes catatonic for three or four months after a breakup, and also that prolonged moping makes for good cinema.)

Finally, the girl toys around with a boy named Jacob, who seems just fine until he starts baying in the moonlight. And waxing forth about how dangerous he is. Long lectures follow about who will be able to protect who.

Edward finally figures out he was wrong to leave Bella, and high drama ensues, full of slow motion and shirtlessness.

Now, one of the major problems here is that neither Weitz nor Pattinson sells us on what's so dreamy about this cranberry-lipped, nearly mute Edward Cullen guy. Not when there's a pliant, shirtless young werewolf waiting to make Bella his princess. (Hi, superfan. We know you get it.)

The special effects are fine, the music is great and, like the first installment, New Moon has an intimate, indie feel. The cinematography and effects have improved over Twilight, but unless moping counts as an event for you, there may not be enough whizbang to fulfill expectations as an "event film."

YOUR GRADE: C-

Secondborn needs to have hot electrodes inserted into her spine again, so they can fry her nerve endings.

I'm here in Adelaide to fetch and carry for her while she recovers from the surgery.

Next time you're in pain, take a moment to wonder... can you fix this with some asprin or do you need "hot electrode burning your nerve ending" therapy?

Then spare Secondborn - who holds down a full-time job as a veterinarian - a thought...

Apparently, I've won the Flamingnet Top Choice Award. Not sure if that's something I ought to plaster all over the cover of my books, although the review attached to the award, written by a delightful, and undoubtedly precocious 14 year-old is very flattering.

I'm quite chuffed about this, because I don't usually win awards (despite Tor's insistence on describing me as an "award winning author" even though I keep trying to tell them I'm not).

I get nominated for awards all the time (Aurealis, Prime Minister's Literary Prize, David Gemmel Legend Award, World Fantasy Awards, etc), but I never actually win any of them. In fact, I'm so certain I'll never win an Aurealis Award, I don't even worry about attending the ceremony if I'm nominated. (For the record, I'm awesome at picking the actual  winner. If only that talent extended to picking Melbourne Cup winners. I'd be a squllionaire!)

I'm pretty sure the only one I'm actually qualified for is the "Most Successful Australian Fantasy Author To Never Win A Damn Thing Award".

But if I won that, then I would have won an award, which means I'd no longer qualify, which means I'd lose the award...

Which means I'd then qualify for it again...

OK... I'm going to stop this now. My brain hurts.