Let's see if I can summarize the Jerry Springer episode that has become our lives this past week, in a way that makes sense:)

1. Drama Queen 1 (the ex-girlfriend insisting the other ex is gunning for her) rings Firstborn at work to say she's organised a celebrant for the funeral. Firstborn thanks her politely and assures her the funeral is under control and we have a celebrant.
2. Another person rings. DQ1 has instructed this one to take care of the flowers. Firstborn thanks her politely and assures her DQ1 need not have bothered. The funeral is under control and we have arranged flowers.
3. DQ1 rings again. This time to let Firstborn know some Mate We've Never Heard Of and the Registered Sex-Offender have gotten together (on their own initiative) and will be writing and delivering the eulogy.
4. Poor Firstborn is starting to lose patience. Thorugh gritted teeth she politely assures DQ1 the eulogy will be written and delivered by a long-standing family friend (Thirdborn's Godfather, actually), not the Mate We've Never Heard Of or the Registered Sex-Offender who have taken it upon themselves to do the honours.
5. DQ1 relays the message to the Mate We've Never Heard Of and the Registered Sex-Offender.
6. Mate We've Never Heard Of and the Registered Sex-Offender are now up in arms because DQ1 stuffed up the message and they think there won't be a eulogy at all.
7. DQ1 rings Firstborn to pass on their displeasure at this turn of events, in the hope of making her reverse the family decision about the eulogy.
8. Firstborn, (God bless her) in the nicest way possible, tells DQ1 to F**k-off and mind her own business.
9. DQ1 is now all wounded and offended and sent a text announcing she's boycotting the funeral in protest.

I  think that qualifies as a happy ending...

To be on the safe side, Firstborn has turned her phone off and is no longer taking calls.

Sadly, I guess this also means if the Drama Queen 1 is not around, there won't be a slug-fest with the other ex (who, in fairness, has maintained a dignified silence through all this), after all.

I'm thinking that, perhaps, if we have enough duct tape on hand, we can still manage to have a dignified and respectful funeral...

We might have to bring the video camera along, though. Just in case:)

You had better add a cattle prod and tazer to the duct tape - just in case.

It wouldn't be a family funeral if there wasn't a Jerry Springer moment. It's only the lucky ones who manage to get it on film.

Just imagine the damage DQ1 could actually do if she put her energy towards something useful.

I suppose these are the "interesting times" the Chinese were talking about.

Take the video - have you seen the prizes on Funniest Home Video -$250,000 cash, a 4WD, and a bucket load of JVC electronics. On the down side imagine DQ1s phone calls if she shows up and you win.

maybe DQ1 could organise Bouncers for the service because it sounds like they might be needed and she obviously wants to add her own touch of "class" to things

Wow, nothing says dignified and respectful like a registered sex offender. Where do you meet these people Jenny? *g*

*blinks* Firstborn has my deepest respect and admiration for managing to tell DQ1 anything politely.

Death brings out the worst in people. Jenny, the only way to get though this is to have nice wine on tap, and to repeat that classic movie line "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave" through gritted teeth.

There WILL be drama, DQ1 will never be able to stay away but will undoubtedly time hysterics for the most inappropriate moment and you will have to take a painkiller because your eyes will be aching from all the rolling they have been doing.

Best of wishes for everything, these things are never easy.
Lisa

What I don't understand is why an Ex-Girlfriend could think that her input would be wanted, or even required. I can understand wanting to help at this time, but I firmly believe that you should ask if help is required before running off and organising stuff..

Firstborn has my sympathies as she really didn't need this on top of what she is going through. She is doing a splendid job!

I just read Daces' little notice in the paper, brought a tear to my eye! :O(