Jennifer Fallon's Blog
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28-Oct-2009

Pirate rules!

Posted At : 11:11 AM | Posted By : jenny
Related Categories: Jenny's Daily Grind

We have another cat. This one is named Pirate, named because she has a black patch over one eye.

Now, Pirate, who belongs to Firstborn, has something of a past. We got her from the RSPCA as a present for FB a few years ago, along with a voucher to have her desexed (this was back before Secondborn was a qualified Vet). So, FB takes Pirate to the clinic, they anaesthetize her, and open her up, and go... "Whoops, we've done this before..."

That's right, Pirate was already de-sexed  but they'd forgotten to tattoo her ear.

Needless to say, FB decided to take Pirate to the other vet clinic (where her sister works) when she was due for her shots. Except on the way into the clinic Dace dropped the cat cage, it sprung open and Pirate bolted, never to be seen again.

Or so we thought...

A year later, one of FB's friends rang and told her she'd seen Pirate hanging around the nurses quarters at the hospital. She'd called her over, picked her up, put her in a box and turned her back for two seconds and the little bugger escaped...

For the next 6 months, the entire hospital maintenance staff (where FB's father worked) set out to catch Pirate. Except by now she'd been adopted by the nurses living on campus who kept feeding her and letting her out of the trap the maintenance guys rigged to catch her. It ended up taking a decree from the hospital's General Manager and the involvement of the Health and Safety officer and the Union Rep to negotiate Pirate's return.

So... after 18 months on the lam, Pirate comes home, acting like nothing has happened.

Until she moved into my place...

First thing she did was tame Declan the Psycho Pussy. It's the most bizzare thing I have ever seen. All she did was look at him, which was obviously accompanied by a telepathic message along the lines of "Fuck with me and you die". Now, when Pirate comes into the room Declan sits quietly in the corner with not so much as a hiss or bite or look in her general direction. He just waits until she leaves before he does anything.

Unfortunately, last night, Pirate met Bruce.

It wasn't pretty. There was so much blood on the floor we were slipping in. It took three of us to break them apart.

The good news... Bruce, the mastiff will be fine. He should recover nicely from his injuries.

As for Pirate, I hear you wonder?

Well... after she was done, she jumped into the laundry sink, calmly licked Bruce's blood off her claws and then strolled upstairs to eat.

She hasn't got a mark on her.

This is one cat you don't wanna mess with... :)

Comments (73)

Comments

Dear god in heaven... Declan the psycho pussy. Do you know that I'll now always have a very weird picture in my head when I'm reading? *gg*

But that sounds really... dangerous. My cat was pretty lazy, she only stood up when someone sat near her favorite spot on the couch. Still... that was alway very amusing. :DDD

Posted By Feralis / Posted At 10/29/09 2:53 AM

Hah. And I have Captain Jack Sparrow, the one-eyed Pirate Poodle Puppy. He is smaller than my cat, Josephine (who would not have been out-of-place as a schemer in Dangerous Liaisons). She must like him, because so far she has let him live...

Posted By Lynne Lumsden Green / Posted At 10/29/09 6:03 AM

Well, I feel rather good about our cats now. They just bat at each other with such slight effort that they never draw blood. They just urinate on everything. I swear, female cats who mark their territory. Who knew?

Posted By Moonsanity / Posted At 10/30/09 2:37 AM

Poor Bruce!

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