While waiting for my coffee yesterday, I picked up the Women’s Weekly (at least, I think it was the Women’s Weekly... I really wasn't paying that much attention) to peruse while I waited. I turned to the Psychic Advice page, because I always love the way the “renowned psychic” answers questions like “should I leave my violently abusive husband?” with advice like “the spirits tell me you should check into to your nearest women’s shelter, where you will finally be safe”. Well, duh...

Anyway, one letter caught my eye. No, that's a fib. It cracked me up. It went something like this:

I am a psychic, trying to get my psychic business off the ground. I want to run an agency with other psychics so we can find lost people and help the police solve crimes. Why is my business not working?

Puzzled Psychic

Hmmm... Now I’m no psychic, but I could offer you a few suggestions, Puzzled...

1. You had to ask another psychic
2. Australian police have categorically stated that they do not accept assistance from psychics. This was in response to an Australian TV show Sensing Murder in which self-professed psychics attempt to crack unsolved murders, and made comments like “I can feel the violence here“ while standing in the middle of the identified crime scene. Really... the stuff of goosebumpsJ.
3. The last cop who tried it, an Australian Federal Police officer, was suspended following his seeking the aid of a "clairvoyant" in regards to death threats made against Prime Minister John Howard. A federal police spokesman said they do "not condone the use of psychics in security matters." You could find this out by checking Wikipedia. Or your local newspaper. It was headline news at the time.
4. You had to ask another psychic. Perhaps you should have checked Wikipedia first. Or your local paper.
5. It is possible you're not the shiniest bauble in the Christmas decoration box, which might cause you serious credibility issues when trying to present your credentials to your local police chief.
6. Local Police Chief will be suspended from duty if he hires you.
7. And you had to ask another psychic, dude... I mean... think about that...

By the way, the answer from the “renowned psychic”? A delicate suggestion that Puzzled Psychic protect him/herself from dangerous evil spirits on the other side before progressing any further with the Business Plan.

A gentle reminder about the number of excellent decaffeinated brands available on the market, might also have been prudentJ