A bunch of us went off to see a western, this week. I am rather fond of westerns, truth be told. I like their absurd, black and white morals and their "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" logic and that nothing is so dire in one's life that it can't be solved with a hail of bullets.

But here's an interesting thing. Have you noticed the black hat/white hat visual cues of the original westerns (so we can tell the good guys from the bad guys) which we all laugh at so much now, have been replaced by the much more subtle black teeth/white teeth?

In this, as in most other modern westerns (and yes, including Deadwood) all the good guys have nice, even, often beautifully capped, white teeth. Bad dudes, however, have brown grotty teeth and delight in smiling evilly at their foes, no doubt hoping to fell them with bad breath in case the bullets miss. Watch closely next time you see a western if you don't believe me. Pretty teeth are the new white hats.

And I have to say, that's how I knew Russell Crowe's character wasn't going to be all bad. Despite the blood, gore and random killings, his pearly whites were shining from the get-go. So were Christain Bale's teeth, even though he was supposed to be a dirt-poor farmer who could barely afford to eat. Good to see that the noble people of the Wild West understood the importance of regular dental care. Who needs food? Just gets caught in those gorgeous teeth and rots them anyway:... hahaha

Enough about teeth. Here's the review.

3:10 to Yuma is a remake of the 1957 film of the same name, in which Glen Ford played the outlaw Ben Wade, captured by railroad bounty hunter, Byron McElroy (Peter Fonda), for excessive train-robbing (they’re not so concerned about the murders, apparently) and on his way to the nearest railhead to catch the 3:10 Prison Train to Yuma. Meanwhile, back on the ranch, his gang is in hot pursuit, willing to do pretty much anything to get their leader back.

In this version, Russell Crowe fills Glen Ford’s well-worn cowboy boots, with Christian Bale in the role of the dirt-poor farmer Dan Evans, who is so strapped for cash he’s prepared to risk life and his three remaining limbs for the reward money to save his ranch. Complicating the issue is Evan’s fourteen-year-old son, William (Logan Lerman) who tags along for the excitement and who has a serious case of hero-worship going on for the ruthless killer his father is escorting to justice. This is a twist added for the remake for a bit of added angst, I assume. There is no character named William Evans listed in the credits of the 1957 original.

Regardless of which version you’re watching, you know, however, that Ben Wade can’t be all bad, because for one thing, they hired Russell Crowe (and Glen Ford) for the part, and for another, Ben Wade stops in his trail of death, doom, larceny and destruction on occasion, to sketch delicate images of birds and pretty girls. With a trait like that you know he must have a marshmallow centre, even if, on the outside, he’s a ruthless killer and proud of the fact.

This is essentially a buddy movie where it’s pretty much a given from the get-go that the bad guy - despite all his protestations to the contrary - will eventually do something noble in order to help the good guy restore his honour in the eyes of his outlaw-worshipping son. Personally, I’d rather, well, keep on living, but then I don’t live in the Wild West and I’m not a big fan of the Death Before Dishonour credo. I’m more of a "Dead You’re Pretty Much Screwed Whichever Way You Look At It" believer, myself. 

One can’t fault the acting in this film or the production. Directed by James Mangold (Walk the Line) and with A-listers like Crowe, Fonda and Bale onboard, this film was never going to fail. Add a fine supporting cast, (that got a little bit distracting, I have to say, because we kept whispering “Hey! Look! It’s whathisname!” every time we spotted another familiar face), some spectacular scenery, cowboys, Indians, outlaws and the obligatory stagecoach and you have all the hallmarks of a good solid western. And don’t forget the shootouts. And the gun battles (of which there are plenty) during which all good guys are — in the finest western tradition — immune to the hail of bullets (until it’s convenient for them to take a bullet) and all bad guys can be felled with a single shot.

I haven’t seen the original, but I image this one is grittier and probably has more blood. And the bad guys have notably poorer dental hygiene. But in the end, it’s still a pretty formulaic western, written in the heyday of formulaic westerns, elevated above its station by the quality of the cast and crew bringing the story to life.