I had a dream last night that I was burgled again, followed by the whole town being swallowed by an earthquake. It was very graphic, full colour, 3d sort of dream that looked like something out of a post-apocalyptic Irwin Allen disaster movie, complete with fires and crumbling skyscrapers and bloodied survivors roaming the streets with zombiefied looks on their faces.

I believe, at some point, there were also triffids, but I’m not really sure what they were doing there…

It was the crumbling skyscrapers, not the triffids, oddly enough, that alerted me to the fact that this might not be real. You see, we have a two storey building limit here. Skyscrapers are a bit thin on the ground in Alice Springs.

The dream was comforting, however, because now I can be sure that of all the disasters likely to befall my home town, an earthquake is not likely to be one of them. (Of course, anybody with a basic grasp of geography could tell you the same thing. You don’t get a lot of earth tremors when you’re smack bang in the middle of a tectonic plate…).

But there’s a reason I’m sure about this, other than having a basic grasp of geography.

You see, Nostradamus, I ain’t. I do not – it has been proved time and again – have a prophetic bone in my body.

If I dream something, it will not happen. Seriously. I dream of winning the lottery (mind you, my not winning might have something to do with the whole “not buying tickets” thing, but I can’t be sure). I dreamed Al Gore would win a US election (sorry, Al). I dreamed I could get broadband in my street. (Hell freezing over seems more likely). I dreamed Australia would win the World Cup…

If I dream it’s going to be sunny, it will rain for a week. If I dream a particular horse is going to win the Melbourne Cup, the poor beast will be lucky if he makes it to the barriers.

I tell you, the list of my abysmal predictions is impressive. And every predictive dream I have ever had… well, without fail, the complete opposite happens.

Having observed this phenomenon several years ago, rather than get upset by it, I decided to harness the power of this anti-prophsey ability so I can use my powers for good.

Forget the power of positive thinking. If I want something to happen now, I will consciously visualise the complete opposite.

Every time I go on a long drive, I picture myself in a mangled car wreck. I convince myself that every book I write is going to bomb. That my animals will get run over by a car. That my kids, when they go for a job interview, haven’t got a chance, to make sure they’ll get the job… And it works. Really it does.

I should write a book about it.

The Power of Negative Thinking.

Norman Vincent Peale eat your heart out:)

Can you please dream about the abysmal failure of my next book?

How morbid...

Please dream about me NOT winning lotto, NOT meeting Johnny Depp, or NOT getting a book published in the next year or so, or better yet, dream about me failing all my subjects dismally. :) Or all of the above.

Gosh...the possiblities for this power is endless. :)

Joking aside...I can see a story in this. I imagine you have too.

Hahaha.

Can you dream I never get a book published?

I'd be careful with that sort of thinking. Just when you get the knack of it, your dreams will realise you want the opposite to happen and WHAM! You'll get a tsunami over uluru caused by the earthquake you didn't see coming...