If you’re old enough to recall a song that goes: A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course, that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed, then you're used to the idea of horses who talk, philosophise and don’t need to eat.

If you don’t know who Mr Ed is, and you expect anybody to believe you’ve ever been near a four-legged creature larger than a poodle, then you need to remember this vital but oft neglected fact about horses: they need to eat.

Yes, that’s right. Horses eat. And they drink water, too. Quite a bit of it, in fact. And if they don’t eat and drink, (shock! horror!) they die. This rather inconvenient detail is going to make your hero’s epic gallop across the desert to save your damsel in distress a bit problematic, to say the least.

I blame movies for this. Too many films portray horses galloping across a barren landscape without the need to eat, or stop to graze or drink, or perform any of the other normal bodily functions mammals need to survive. This is because the feed truck, the vet, the wranglers and the 14 other vital staff hired to look after these magnificent but somewhat fragile creatures are only acknowledged at the very end of the credits, just before the bit that says “ no animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture”. (I’m hazarding a guess here, but that would be because well, they fed them…)

Now, it’s not as if information on the care and maintenance of horses is hard to find, and there are plenty of people out there who know something about horses, which is a problem, because you don’t have to go far to meet someone willing to vouch for your complete ignorance of all things equine if you neglect these details. The trouble is, many a would-be fantasy writer lives in suburbia and the closest they have ever been to a real horse is a carousel at an amusement park.

Mary K Wilson has written a great article on this subject, (Sunlight And Air: Feeding the Fictional Horse) that opens with the observation that “too many fictional horses exist on air and sunlight. In countless stories, a horse and rider gallop for miles, without any thought being given to the horse's stamina and energy levels, both of which are directly related to good nutrition. When it's time for war, these same steeds valiantly dive into the battle without worrying about enemy weapons, unless it's crucial to the plot. Then, the poor horse dies in a big, heroic battle, and the rider finds another steed to abuse.”

She goes on to point out that “most fictional horses work for a living. Whether as a knight's mount, a plough horse, or a king's hunter, these horses exert large amounts of energy in the course of their daily lives. A horse under light work may need only 1½ to 2 pounds of hay per 100 pounds of body weight and ½ to 1 pound grain, if that much. Given that an average horse runs from 1000 to 1200 pounds, your character is looking at feeding at a minimum 15-20 pounds of hay or forage a day. This means if the horse is on the road, it will need to stop and graze at several intervals through the day..”

Anybody remember the last time a hero stopped to let his horse graze as the forces of darkness were bearing down on top of him?

And while we’re on the subject of horses, let’s talk about how far they can travel. If you gallop your horse for half an hour, it will drop dead. Fact. Let’s not even talk about galloping it for a day or more (particularly as it won’t have had time to eat…).

In another great article, Tina Morgan’s Using Horses in Fiction, she points out the following inconvenient facts. “The average horse can travel 25 to 30 miles in one day. This will NOT be done at a run. Most of the distance will be covered in a trot, a gait that your rider will probably not enjoy. Endurance horses are trained to make 50, 75 even 100 mile trail rides in one day. However, this requires special diets and extensive training for horse and rider. A rider with considerable experience will know how to ease the strain on their own body while riding long distances but they will still be sore if they're riding farther than normal. The muscles on the inner thigh and buttocks will take the greatest amount of punishment, but the lower back, calves, knees and hips will also feel the strain.”

So, your hero manages his epic ride by changing horses frequently, pony-express style, and arrives in time to save the day. He’s going to be sore, stiff and possibly barely able to walk. 

So, unless your hero is a superhero and he’s riding Mr Ed, or one of his magical cousins, do your homework. Learn the difference between a flank and a wither, a mare and stallion, a bay and grey, and for pity’s sake, feed your poor horses.

It's a notable fact that a large percentage of people who read fantasy also ride/breed/know every bl**dy fact about horses. Which is why I go to extremes to avoid including horses in my books.

The same is true of people who know about weaponry - but I actually enjoy researching that.

Oh, and in Diana Wynne Jones' "Tough Guide to Fantasyland" she concludes that horses in fantasyland breed by pollination.

yeah Tina, someone else who is a stickler for making sure horsey details are right !!!

Tina?

She's talking about Tina Morgans article, trudi. And I'm with The Harshini, and good on Jennifer for promoting the proper care of horses in fiction. They're not just cars with saddles, you know.

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