Seeing X-men: The Last Stand the other night set me to thinking about my own superpowers. I have two. The first — my ability to find a car-park anywhere, anytime I want it — is quite useful. The second is much more uncontrollable… and far more sinister. I am a walking Electro Magnetic Pulse.

I kid you not. I could be one of the X-men. No electrical appliance is safe around me. Nothing lasts its guaranteed lifespan if I own it (this is not — as some cynics have suggested — because I deliberately break them so I can buy new ones). I have to own a prepaid mobile phone because no phone has ever lasted me longer than the account plan. I can crash computers just by sitting down in front of them. The electricians working on my house had an argument with me that went on for days, while they insisted a hallway light that I’ve been using for 6 years couldn’t possibly be functioning because it wasn't wired up to anything.

I have walked past checkouts and had them suddenly shut down. The last two cars I owned developed inexplicable electrical faults that it took months to find.

I have a computer network at home that nobody can get connected and working properly despite the fact that I’ve had some seriously heavy-duty experts scratching their heads over it, and all the computers talk to each other just fine when I'm not there.

My cable TV box developed a transmission fault that Austar had never seen before and every now and again, for no apparent reason, the lights in my house will go out and come back on as soon as the electrician arrives… although that could be a poltergeist the electricians left behind in revenge for that whole “I don’t care if it’s not wired up to anything, the damn things works!” argument we had, and they’re recouping their losses through after-hours call out fees.

Today, however, I surpassed myself. Not only did I learn that since I starting work at the Tang Council, if they plug in the Coke vending machine in the workshop, selected computers will turn themselves off and the printers will all go off line, but I set the railway signals off.

I swear this is true… I was just sitting there, minding my own business, at the major intersection in Alice Springs where the Stuart Highway, the Alice to Darwin rail line and the road to the Western McDonnell Ranges converge. All I was doing was waiting for the traffic lights to change when suddenly, the rail signals started up. Of course, there’s no sign of a train. It’s Tuesday night and everyone knows the train isn’t due until Friday… but those lights were going ding-ding-ding like there’s no tomorrow and nothing’s happening…

Finally, after about 10 minutes with the traffic banked up halfway to Ti Tree, the police arrived to sort out everything out until the signals could be shut down manually.

And if you think that’s odd… this is the third time the signals have gone off and there’s no train coming while I’m waiting at the lights.

My children have suggested that I should find a way to use this power for the forces of good, but there’s a little evil overlord inside me rubbing his hands with glee, trying to figure out how to channel this power so it works on ATMs and slot machines…